


Totally Wicked

by Dragdiva



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Broken Hearts, Clairo, Crying, F/F, Flashbacks, Performance, Photography, Prom season, Questioning sexualities, Sadness, Singing, Wicked - Freeform, based on the lyrics from prom dress mxmtoon, friendships, friendships to something more?, girl on girl relationship, highschool crushes, theatre 101, theatre nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragdiva/pseuds/Dragdiva
Summary: Prom day couldn’t go any worse for Jan, sitting on the floor hidden from the public eye sobbing to the music in the main room.... the only person she wished she wasn’t thinking about ironically is the person who made her want to hide and cry over sheer confusion. Jan doesn’t know much of what she wants but there’s something about Jackie that she cant quite put her finger on but she cant live without.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20





	1. A little bit of good karma

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I have have been working on this short piece for a while for Jankie !!! It’s sort of a mixture between a one shot and short story!!!! I’m finally getting to post the first part to this exciting 3 pieces (i think its gonna be 3 I’m unsure but it shouldn’t be many more than that if i go over 3)
> 
> i hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> ♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

Running away from the room full of music, Jan bashes open every door in her way to the restrooms and instead darts into the empty locker room. It's prom and she had to escape the prying eyes of everyone who's attending especially her friends who are shouting after her because the tears are falling down her face worse than the 3 other times she's cried this week.

✨"𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠

𝐼'𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡

𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑒-𝑢𝑝 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑

𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒? 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤..."✨

"How flaming ironic" she rolls her eyes tears still slipping down her face. Jan was not a crier ever especially not in front of people and she knew as soon as all of this emotional stuff started happening she'd shove it to the back of her head making sure to keep her high energy bubbly personality at shining point but her confidence of hiding this issue was slipping. The thing behind it all, the most gorgeous intelligent funny girl that Jan had ever laid eyes on, Jackie Cox. The taller dark haired girl had always caught Jan's eye and although both where not in the same friend groups the both were somewhat friends at the least as they had a few classes together and they both were into musical theatre but for Jan she had this major crush that basically was tearing her apart.

Jan started her senior year of highschool on the later side of the month in this new schoolbut her bubbly personality made no issues with the tiny blonde making friends and quickly became friends with the bubbly ginger haired girl in her home room who introduced herself as Crystal. Crystal then introduced her to her group of friends guaranteeing the tinier one that they'd like her just as much to which Nicky, Jaida and her girlfriend Gigi all welcomed her with open arms. As much as the meeting of Jan's group of friends was a precious and special memory of her coming here, it was the day that Jan met Jackie that changed her life and would stay with her forever....

𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎

"Are any of yougonna come and join musical theatre club with me. It's will be so much fun you guys." Jan squeals. The other girls looked unsure of the idea, until Crystal looked at the desperate plees of the blonde before nodding her head. "I guess trying it wouldn't be a bad idea."

All four agreed to go together in support of doing something their new friend loved so that they could get to know her a little more. As they entered the theatre room they were pleasantly accepted and welcomed by the leader. There was a relatively good size of people there attending and everyone had their own groups except for a few alone girls and guys. As they finished up some of the games they played as icebreakers, it was announced they needed to pair up with someone. So when it came down to picking pairs Jan found herself looking towards the people who appeared to the club solo due to the fact the others from her group had paired with each other already. This was when she noticed Jackie properly. The girl was definitely from her year, she had wavy brown hair just past her shoulders, she was definitely taller than the tiny blonde but wasn't much taller. The thing that Jan noticed off her was her bright smile it was captivating her vision from anything else, it was inviting, friendly, trusting.

The girl looked around to see who was left when her eyes collided with Jan's. "Hey do you have a partner yet." She calls over. "I...I. Nope" the girl smiled, "Great I don't have one either we can pair of you want?"Jan felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the air now that the girls hazey stare had landed on her. All Jan could do was give a weary nod to the girl, This was a weird feeling to her. She never had an issue with nerves and talking to new people but it was as if this girl had put a spell on Jan, how was she gonna work with her when she could now barely look at her in her presence.

The girl sat next to Jan and smiled. "I don't think we've ever met before you're new to LA aren't you...Jackie Cox, school newspaper treasurer and photographer and musical theatre enthusiast and nerd." She sets her hand out towards the blonde as she gulps. Jackie sitting so close to Jan it left her dumbstruck, she had not heard her speak upclose until now. Her voice was mesmerising she definitely wasn't from around here she too had a slight accent you'd had heard before but you couldn't quite put your finger on. Jan shook her head she was overthinking, it released her from her thoughts to grab Jackies outstretched hand. "Jan Sport , you're correct definitely- the new girl, I'm obsessed with Broadway, musicals and everything theatre, trying to make it work from one big city to a new one." 

"Oooh where are you from and what's your top 2" Jan watches the pale girl grin at her with the same smile, it was even better upclose. Jan didn't have to think about this one. "Manhattan and There's no way I could pick a top 2 that's virtually impossible though i did enjoy performing in a local cast version of Newsies once and I've dreamt about playing either Glinda or Elphaba in wicked or Regina George in mean girls." "Wow" she watched the girl gasp, "at least I know your a proper theatre nerd then I was worried you were gonna tell me an answer. I've been in a few productions but nothing serious it's impressive that you've got experience Miss Monsoon will like that. I'm obsessed with wicked though I've always wanted to see it performed in Broadway. I could totally see you as a Glinda, I'm sure you've you've got a cracker voice to fit the Glinda personality that you're showing." Jackie was speaking at top speed, Jan watched every word leave her mouth. She smiles and politely thanks the girl as they get stuck into the challenge to start off the club. 

Both girls very quickly discovered that they worked incredibly well together. Jan found herself having the time of her life with the other girl. So when the group got stuck into what they would be working for the year Jan continued to sit and take notes and discuss ideas next to Jackie. When it was announced they were as a group to host their own mini production of Wicked both of the girls were ecstatic with the choice. With both of them loving Wicked it was a no brainer. For Jan she knew she had to try out and secure Glinda, It meant playing one of her favourite characters and showing off her strongest assists and playing a role she wanted to do for real in Broadway. On the other hand not to Jan's knowledge the other girl was just as excited to see this production blossom she loved the show probably just as much as Jan but for Jackie seeing this new friendly face that she was intrigued by in action at something she was so passionate about, excited her. She enjoyed watching her peers strive and be authentically themselves while performing just as much as she loved performing herself.

When the the club finished for the day both girls had discussed every inch of the future performance in detail imagining what it would be like. As Jan was throwing her stuff into her backpack carelessly she heard the club leaders announce that auditions would be held the following week in the club. She waved bye to her new friend catching up to her other friends to leave with them as they had previously planned beforehand. "So what you guys think." Jan squealed excitably to her group. "It actually was quite goode, I never thought singing and dancing about with a group of strangers would be quite as fun." Gigi sighed while turning to the others, "why did we never think about doing this sooner." The blonde smiled, "well I'm glad my impact was the cause of this new relationship to theatre for all of you." Jan cheered while she spoke. "It looked like you were having a blast with Jackie." Jaida spoke nudging Nicky who was walking beside her. "Yeah, she's really sweet, we share a lot of musical theatre similarities." "Canada's angel, she doesn't seems sweet, she is a sweetheart or well from what I've heard from almost everyone. I personally don't really know her much but she's friends with Widow and Heidi isn't she girls I'm thinking of the right person." Nicky rambles on. "How come you don't know her much" Jan questioned glancing on chance to get insight to the girl. "She's a social floater never had a chance to, she floats between all the groups. That's mostly because everyone knows her as she's the schools student photographer and part of the news team. When your apart of big groups like that you have to share your time around everyo...

"JAN!!! JAN!!! Hold up!!!" Shouts where heard from behind them. The whole group turned around to the voice as a flustered Jackie is flying towards them. "You left your notebook that you were putting ideas in Jan, here you go I didn't know when I'd be able to return it to you especially if there was anything important in it." She passed the purple covered book to Jan with a smile. "Thank you!!" The tinier one leaned to the other to give her a quick hug. "I would forget my head if it wasn't attached to my body. See you soon yeah!!" The dark haired girl nodded before turning towards her friends that were at the end of the hallway. Jan hopped into the back seat beside Nicky and Jaida in Gigi's jeep shoving the notebook into her bag without much thought but a slip of paper falls out of the middle of the book she opened it to see a note wrote in Jackie's swirly handwriting. Closing it quickly she shoves it in her pocket before her friends spot it.

Jan only goes to retrieve the scrap of paper from her pocket once she's safely in her bedroom alone. The whole journey home she's wondered what the piece of paper had on it. The anticipation was deadly but she knew the prying eyes of her friends was a recipe for disaster so she held it in until she knew it was safe and away from them.

> Hi I don't even know if you'll see this note but I had a great time today in MT with you. You're got this contagious energy and I'd like to get to know you better. Maybe we catch up this week you can help me prepare for the audition as I think I'll benefit from you and I can help you by giving you someone to practice with ?? Here's my number let me know what you think? Jackie ☻︎

Jan stared at the purple swirly writing from her purple marker, touching the smiley face she had drew beside her name. Jan couldn't have thought of anything better to hang out with Jackie. She intrigued Jan more than she would probably want to admit outloud. She put her number into her phone, texting Jackie back immediately...

Jan💜

Hi I've just found your note with your number

I'd love to hang out with you this week !!!

Oh it's Jan btw

Jackie🌻

Jan!!! I kinda guessed when you mentioned the

note 🤣 considering I've never left a note in a

girls notebook like I have with you. I was certain

you probably weren't gonna find the note and

I didn't want to make it obvious in front of your friends.

I also wasn't certain if you wanted to hang out with

me but I can't wait to hang out. which day suits

you best?? How's Tuesdays for you?

"Obvious... what would be obvious?" Puzzled Jan looked at her planner to check her schedule to see when fitted her best. she forgot about the the comment temporarily due to noticing that the school newspaper is released every Wednesday. "She must be really that busy that she's double booking herself." the girl though while thinking back to Nickys comment, Heading back to her phone to reply to the girl.

Jan 💜

Tuesday actually works perfectly for me !!!

But don't you have newspaper duties that day 

considering the paper comes out on Wednesdays.

we can pick a different day to one that you're actually 

free on if you want .

Jackie🌻

I Probably do but Heidi one of my friends is secretary

and so she'll cover for me. I technically overworked

this week and I've done my work for next week so

I actually don't need to be there. They can message

me if they need me

Don't worry I picked Tuesday on purpose I'm free

the rest of the week so far other than Fridays for MT.

I'd much rather hang with you than sit there with

the news team with nothing to do. X

Both girls arrange for their hangout to happen on Tuesday much to Jans dismay of trying to keep Jackie out of trouble and they were to meet up at Jackie's house. Both girls continue to chat all weekend long, right to the early hours of the night were Jan can barely keep her eyes open to reply back. Both girls captivated in conversation from their childhoods in Canada for Jackie and Manhattan for Jan to musical theatre. Jan realises how totally alike Jackie's interests are to her own which makes her like her even more. The young blonde always wanted to make friends with a diehard musical theatre nerd like herself and genuinely Jan was sure she could never get bored of her conversations with Jackie however new they were. There was something about Jackie that Jan couldn't put her finger on but she made her feel instantly comfortable it felt like a little bit of good karma brought her Jackie and she for one was afraid of when this good karma would end.


	2. “Queries that raced her head”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone another update to this story.
> 
> I wanna say that my fuel when writing this story was a certain Spotify album that contains a few songs that some of dgfc will know all too well as the “clown album” without it I would not have been heart racing enough to write up my story ideas without it...
> 
> Once a clown always one
> 
> Nads x
> 
> ♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎

Jan could hear chatter from the hallway next door to the locker room she was sat in. Her puffy grey dress sat bunched up around her. She could still see Jackie standing there, holding the hands of someone else staring at them lovingly. The tears tripping the blondes face, why did she think she'd stay available for her ifshe doesn't even know...

_✨✨"I guess I maybe had a couple expectations_

_Thought I'd get to them, but no, I didn't"...✨✨_

Jan rolled outside the address that Jackie sent her. The house looked like every other average house within the area, it was spacious and well kept outside. She picked up her phone to let Jackie know that she arrived. Reaching behind her to grab her backpack she brought with her she triple checked that she had all her Musical Theatre stuff with her, yet if she had forgotten something there was no way to get it anyways. It was more the nerves of meeting up with the girl that took up a fair amount of her free time now. She hadn't really saw much of Jackie yesterday at school but that didn't particularly matter as she had spent the majority of the weekend and when home from school texting her and calling.

Jackie appeared moments later, popping her head out from the front door as she waved ferociously at the girl. Jan grabbed her back pack as both girls met in the middle of the journey between the door and Jan's car, both engulfing each other in a hug. "It's great to see you angel" Jackie said sweetly squeezing the tinier one swinging her about on the spot. Jackie led Jan into the front porch, she noticed Jackie taking off what must be her outdoor shoes leaving them on the rack sat beside the front door. Jan too slipped off her boots and left them beside where her friend left her own. As they entered the hallway Jan glanced around the new unfamiliar room she had entered.

The hallway was spacious and just as well kept as the garden but the biggest, most noticeable piece of the house was all the enlarged Musical Theatre playbill posters and collectable memorabilia hung up on the walls. she felt like she was in theatre heaven. there was audible gasps coming from the blonde as Jackie laughed. "I couldn't wait until you saw my house i knew you'd be in awe of it." The blonde barely nodded in disbelief, "its like something from the movies. How do you have so much."Jackie laughs, "Where did you think i got my love for theatre, my mom is an assistant choreographer for certain performances in New York, London but mostly here in Los Angeles. She's worked in a lot of these and that's how I've seen so many; we get a few free tickets to see the shows that she has worked in. Look at these, this is from a production of hairspray she helped to choreograph."

Jan watched where the other girl was pointing up to a detailed plan with a photograph of the cast stuck to it. She walked up to get a better view of it and sure enough it was a detailed plan of choreographed steps to >you can't stop the beat< "OMG, this is one of the coolest things i think I've ever saw." "Ah Hairspray... yes one of my favourites too, good choice Jac." A woman's voice appeared behind the two girls,they both turned around to face where it was coming from. "Is this Jan then baby?"

Jackie hummed to her mom's question, "hi love, you're very welcome here any chance... Are you a hugger." The young woman identical to Jackie had her arms outstretched for a hug, to which the young girl accepted. "Yeah my Jackie has talked none stop about her new theatre friend Jan so its lovely to finally put a face to the young lady." "Mom, really not necessary!!!" The blonde released from Jackie's mom's hug noticing how Jackie is bright crimson. "I hope they were good things Mrs Cox, It's nice to know I've made a great impact" you teased Jackie further. "Don't encourage or team up with her." Jackie whined playing along, " i thought you would be on my side not hers." Jan laughed at the girl pulling playful faces to continue the game on further. Eventually the blonde girl quickly gave the other a quick hug to let her know she was finished teasing her.

"Well i actually came to let you girls know i was leaving for a bit as i have to pop over to the dance studio to leave some ideas in and i have a few other things to do so you will have the house to yourselves until your dad comes home Jac. Raid and grab whatever you both want, snacks drinks... just make sure that you tidy up and put everything back."Jan nods as Jackie thanks her mom seeing her off through the front door. "I'm gonna grab a coke and my coffee i was already making in the kitchen before you came, want one before we head upstairs?' "Sure," Jan replied liking the sound of a strong drink to keep her energy going. The both of them head towards the kitchen area, As Jackie heads straight over to the coffee machine to finish off her own coffee and to start on Jan's. The other girl on the other hand gets a good look around the kitchen, which has more theatrical memories in it. One in particular catches her eye, its a picture of a family group photo with the cast of cats in behind them as she recognises Jackie and now her mom beside who Jan can only assume is her dad and an older brother as Jackie and the boy look so similar.

Jan wanders back over towards Jackie who is typing a long message on her phone. "It's like I'm the only person in the world who knows stuff in the newspaper squad." She chuckles while airquoting "~hey Jac i know you've took this week off from newspaper but is there any chance you would know where everyone's login details are saved, Rock's sick today and nobody can seem to reach her so we can't get her article report she started to work on.~ I'm not the feeder of all information. It's like the world collapses when i suddenly take a break." she rolled her eyes to her message before turning to the blonde, "you wouldn't mind finishing off our coffees while i tell these ones where everything is so we can maybe get some peace from them and so we wont get disturbed?" "Not at all" the blonde smiled to Jackie. "Perfect! You're a star, I feel so awful leaving you here to make your own drink and mine after you've only arrived here for the first time today. What sort of host am I! I'm gonna make it up to you I swear. My fridge is over there and our spoons are in there. I take a dash of oat milk in mine, use whatever in the fridge you fancy, I'll be back in a moment. IM SO SORRY"

Jackie leaves momentarily to call Heidi who had texted her while Jan made both her own and Jackie's coffee using the instructions that Jackie had given the young girl. "I'm back again so sorry but we are all sorted, they shouldn't have any more issues i made sure they had everything" Jackie said popping her phone into her shorts pocket as Jan passes her the coffee she had finished. "Looks good lets get started shall we?" Jackie leads Jan towards the stairway in the hall . Jan still cant seem to believe how incredible Jackie's actual house is, its kind of like a house she had pictured living in her dreams. Once at the top of the stairs she tells Jan to leave her bag in her room on her bed and to lift her rehearsal materials she needed out and to join her in the room next door, So Jan quickly darted into Jackie's room.

Jan didn't really know what to expect with what the room would be like but knowing what Jackie's house looked like she assumed it would be something similar. When Jan entered the room she was actually surprised to how different it actually was. The room was simple yet modern and very minimalistic. The walls were a light grey with dark wood furnishing. There was a shelf on her wall that had two large plant pots on either end of with a large collection of records for the tiny record player sitting on her desk that was situated below.

In actual fact it was fairly similar to her own room scheme, Jackie too had posters over her walls some of cool paintings and there was one big one with a singer that Jan didn't recognise. Jan placed her backpack carefully on the white chunky blanket that was folded neatly over the bottom of her bed opening it and taking out the rehearsal material she needed that Jan had kept in a folder safely in her bag. She walked over to the records heading to look at the record collection in front of her to see what ones Jackie had. There was a few that Jan recognised but a lot that she didn't. The ones she didn't were mostly all femme presenting artists and the artist from the big poster appeared more than once along with another artist she didn't recognise. Jan quickly left the room to head next door incase she had spent too long in her room and made Jackie suspicious. She didn't want her new friend to think she was snooping around her stuff.

When she shut the door to Jackie's room she could hear music from the room that Jackie was in. She entered to reveal her family's music room. The young girl had her back to Jan sitting at the piano in the back of the room. There were a few other instruments hung up around the room but the piano and the large floor space with mirrors placed all around the corner of the room was the main focus point. You could tell that the family was very performance and musical based, Jackie however was captivated by whatever song she was playing on the piano. Jan couldn't help but stare at how good the girl was at playing and how she bopped along to the music she was playing. She recognised the song that she was playing but without the lyrics she couldn't quite put a name to the tune. She stood there to watch the girl a little more before she would decide to let her know that she was there.

"I didn't know you could play piano" Jan spoke softly enough not to scare the girl too much but loud enough to be heard over the piano music. "OMG How long have you been there for and yeah I've been playing it and guitar for the majority of my life." Jan smiles at the girl now that she's turned to face her, "so you're multi talented then, i thought it was cool we had yet another thing in common but you blew that out with the «i know how to play guitar thing«." Jackie laughed, "so you know how to play too then?" she said shuffling over making room for Jan to sit beside her. Jan sets her folder on top of the piano and sits down close to Jackie beside her and starts to play one of her favourite Ariana grande songs that she knew off the top of her head . "Ooh Dangerous woman, good choice." Jan could literally feel Jackie's eyes watch her play every key of the song which put a great deal of pressure on her not to stuff up.

Both girls spend the rest of the afternoon practicing for the audition on Friday. Jan actually impressed Jackie with how good of a performer she actually was which Jackie confided to her that she would have no bother getting Glinda. On the other hand Jan was equally as stunned by Jackie's never ending talents and she also helped Jackie figure out a well rounded rehearsal piece that gave the girl a shot at any of the women roles as Jackie couldn't decide but it focused mostly for Elphaba. The both girls fantasised for a portion of the afternoon while they practiced what they would do if they both got the main roles by performing their own ideas of what they thought the song popular would look like. Mainly this was agreed just so that Jackie could marvel over the blonde girl's talent some more without her fully realising. Jackie soon realised there was nothing she enjoyed more than seeing how happy this role made Jan when she played it. Jan was basically the embodiment of Glinda, she had one of the best repports of Glinda Jackie had ever seen in quite some time.

The both of the girls decided after a long time of practicing they would call it quits for the day, both of them feeling much more confident in what either of the had prepared for the audition and both of them didn't want to give themselves voice strain from singing any longer. They both headed to Jackie' s room to chill out, to talk a bit more like they normally would when they would text each other.

"I have one good question, who on earth is this King Princess that is basically all over your room." Jan vocalised confidently but was stopped on her tracks quickly by Jackie. "Wait.. you don't know who King Princess is. One of the best artists ever.... angel we've got to change that." The brunette got up quickly and skipped over to her collection of records sliding her finger over them all until she came across the one she was looking for. "This is one of her first EP's" she said putting the record onto the machine and she returned with the record sleeve to hand to Jan "prepare to be blown away by some talent." Jan listened carefully to the artist Jackie put on, really wanting to give it a fair shot as it was obviously someone that Jackie was very passionate about. The EP was actually quite good, it was totally not what she expected and definitely something Jan wouldn't have first picked out of a collection of artists but she was definitely becoming a fan of this King Princess.

"So what do you think" Jackie questioned softly anticipating the blonde's answer. "Actually really good. You have great taste in music I'm assuming some of the other female artists you have on records that I didn't recognise when I looked at your collection earlier on are from the same sort of genre then." Jackie looked concerned for a split second "Wait.. wait hold on I'll name a few tell me if you know them.." she popped up towards her records.

"Clairo"

"Nope"

"Kehlani"

"Nope"

"Hayley kiyoko"

"I heard of but I'm not sure of her music"

"Janelle monae"

"No don't think so"

"Girl in red"

"No"

"Mxmtoon"

No... wait yes I have heard of her she's pretty cool." "Thank god you know at least one of them. Mxmtoon is incredible I love her song birdie that's what I was playing earlier on the piano." Jackie smiled swaying her head back and forwards to the music as it was playing in the background . "I knew I recognised the song" Jan squealed remembering back to Jackie playing the piano at last the piece had been fitted together. "You should see some of the Polaroids i took when i went to see some of their shows that's one of my favourite things to do when I'm there. Ive actually gotten to go to a really small gathering show type thing of Clairo as she seen my work . That big picture there beside the King Princess one is one of my pictures i took for her." Jackie was watching the reaction of the blonde looking at the large blown up image that she had took at the show that had landed her the secret photo shoot opportunity. "She's my favourite but i love all the rest too especially Mxmtoon."

Both girls spend the rest of the afternoon/early evening looking at Jackie's photography and Jackie spent the rest trying to teach Jan more of her music taste. Jan really enjoyed seeing Jackie so excited and compassionate about something. She was lighting up the more she would talk about how pretty these people she photographed and how under appreciated a lot of them truly were. "In once sense I love for them to get so much recognition for the sheer talent that they are. "Jackie sighs, "but I feel If they got too popular it would loose its touch especially if certain groups of people got ahold of their music, though i don't think that will happ.. never mind don't listen to me.." she nervously laughs, which confuses Jan slightly. She couldn't really grasp why Jackie was so conflicted... Or well she could guess why.

More popular people tend to loose track of their careers and from what Jan was seeing these artists where working from what seemed like the heart and she would guess Jackie was probably concerned their music would probably loose the touch it has, down right Jan could understand why that was a query, their music was different and fresh compared to a lot of the artists that were floating around the charts. 

"I dont really know their music but i think i understand where you are coming from." Jackie looked at the girl a sign of relief played over her mind ... "yeah they put through so much passion they'd loose that if they gave up and followed the crowd of music artists." Jackie smiled, "exactly they were my realisation, hearing some of their lyrics and how they used the power of women and the love and compassion for them really helped me see who I was." Jan froze trying to understand what she believed Jackie was referencing to. "Wait you like girls .... like really like them." Jan spoke slowly hoping she had guessed right.

Jackie's eyes lit up to Jan's comment, not in a good way, she bit her lip nervously and there was a stiffness and small set of fear that hid behind them as they gaped at Jan cautiously. Jan read the room almost immediately feeling the room tense and the feeling between that was once happiness grow quickly awkward . "I...I...I.. think that's pretty damn cool finally someone else... or well I'm not sure what I am but I know or well think I like girls but i'm not sure and I think I like guys too but I think I like just people in general but I'm not sure. I've never really sat down to properly think about it I've just went with it.. and...and..." Jan spoke like a train to avoid the awkward tension she watch Jackie laugh at her stupidity of over talking. It was her nerves that made her go like that, but seeing Jackie smile rather than be stressed was enough to slow her down and minimise the stress from the previous awkwardness that sent Jan into overload. "That's cool you don't have to be certain straight away everyone has their own time to figure out and thats okay!! It took me what feels like forever to go from questioning my sexuality to knowing completely I was only into girls."

Some of the weight slowly released off Jackie's shoulders, she liked how Jan was just as accepting as she hoped just like everyone she had told that she cared about deeply. That helped with a lot of the queries that raced her head she finally had answers to them now and it made her feel closer to the end result she would hope could potentially happen, she just had to be patient and wait for that time to appear and be right.


	3. Gleaming like you always do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii
> 
> I apologise for the wait!!! I have been writing on and off this whole time but I have too much for 1 chapter so I’m splitting it and you’re getting two!!! 
> 
> Drivers licence may or may not have fuelled me writing at 4am 🤣🤣
> 
> I love you all 💖💖
> 
> ꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄ

The phone beside Jan on the floor where she had placed it, buzzed as Crystal's ID came up on her phone. Jan watched the screen light up, she anticipated answering it but she knew that answering it would mean her friends guilting her to tell them where she was as she couldn't face them yet again. They had already done enough to help over this, she felt she had to do this one solo to save them the bother of worrying over her once again. The call rang off to reveal the dozens of messages from all of her friends including Jackie. She skimmed through them not really bothering too much. Hearing mxmtoon in the background was making this worse for the tiny blonde. Hearing it was bringing it back to the one person she didn't want to think about but was still so mind consumed by.

_✨✨✨"i guess i thought that prom was gonna be fun,_

_But now I'm sitting on the floor_

_and all i wanna do is run."✨✨✨_

Jan and the rest of her friends were all sitting at lunch but Jan wasn't paying attention, she was exhausted. Her and Jackie sat up to 5am on call together watching film musicals. Of course the girl didn't fully regret it she just wished she didn't have to wake to go to school the next day. Jan knew the others at her table were talking about weekend plans but that was about it. The only ounce of focus she had left was consumed watching Jackie at the table furthest from her own and she looked as tired as she felt. Jan felt bad, she knew that Jackie had a lot of school commitments but both of them didn't mean to stay up as late as they did almost every night the past week.

Jan couldn't help it.... spending a night watching stuff and chatting with Jackie was infectious. She made everything so much more exciting. The weekend prior they had both hung out at Jan's house for the first time. Jan had this day planned from her first visit all those weeks prior finding out their roles in the musical, it had to be absolutely perfect similar to how her first visit to Jackie's was. The two got the main roles of Glinda and Elphaba so this meant they were constantly working together to get the parts right. This meant they chose to spent a lot of time outside of school to be able to practice together. That day no more was she getting to show her mom sneaky behind the scenes of it but she was getting to show Jackie what her side of life was like.

The day couldn't have gone better, her mom had gotten on well with Jackie and they ended up getting a lot of good practice done. In fact they had accidentally lost track of time which led to Jackie spending the night and that night was the start to the late night musical watching between them both. It was only suppose to be a one time thing but that never happened. "Hey earth to Jan!! What do you think about that idea?" She was projected out of her thought bubble by Nicky waving her hands in front of her face, she jumped a little being startled by the quick movement. "Do you think you'll be free? I know you've got a lot on with learning Glinda stuff but we all thought a needed break for all of us since working on the performance would be great. I saw a few that you would like in one of the places we are hitting up" The tanned blonde was scrolling on her phone as she spoke.

"Wha...I...emmm..." Jan stuttered, confused. Crystal who was sat next to the blonde grabbed her hands "prom day shopping doll on Saturday... yeah are you free?" She paused tilting her head slightly, "Are you okay doll you haven't seemed yourself the last few days. Where's our energetic bouncy excited Jan gone. Have you kidnapped her do i have to go to her house and find her." the ginger tried to make a light joke out of the situation she could see how confused yet slightly embarrassed the blonde was for not knowing about what was being discussed in the group. "I think so, a break would be nice yeah..sorry I'm exhausted I've been so busy." Jan looked up at the girls apologetically.

"You don't need to work yourself to the bone Jan over this performance" all the other girls hummed in agreement to Gigi as the taller blonde started to speak again. " I promise you sound great as Glinda, you're word perfect and your facial expressions and actions are million times better than mine."A smile crept onto her face from her friends complements, "how much have you actually slept this week alone." "Not much" Jan whispered, it wasn't lies about the sleeping but it wasn't the performance keeping her up. A level of guilt appeared realising she was technically blaming her time spent with Jackie over her choice not to sleep. "Please try not to freak out over it too much, we all agree with Gigi. Why don't you take a break tonight, go to bed early and catch up on some of those z's girl. Anyways I'll show you something to get excited over this weekend. Wait till i find one of the dresses in this shop i think you'll love Jan" Nicky said squealing as she started to scroll through her history on her phone.

Jan glanced over to Jackie's table she was busy staring off into space like last time as Jan realised the conversation started back up at her own table. She picked her own phone up opening her messages to Jackie.   
  


Jan 💜

Are you as tired as i am?? 🙈

Jackie 🌻

Yeah not the smartest idea to only have 2hrs of sleep but I would miss our conversations too much❤️   
  


Widow was talking about her bf here at lunch asking about what we thought of a birthday gift and i accidentally called him her brother’s name.

Btw shes not impressed by it as you can imagine😆🙈

Jan 💜

Oh god 😆

I called Mr H in geometry today, "Hugh Jackman" from our LONG conversation on how good he was in Greatest Showman last night. To which he started to sing the Greatest Show in front of the whole class.

Jackie 🌻

OMG 😆 at least it was him and not any of the other male teachers as he's nice!!

Jan 💜

It would be only he's calling me Jenny Lind now he says he wants my rendition of never enough...

Anyways I'll talk to you later!!

Jan looked up at Jackie, she was smiling at her phone. Enough to warm up Jan's senses, seeing her giggle at their conversation. She got up with the rest of her friends to leave with them as Nicky rushed over to her side. "I've found it!! I've found it!This is it, what do you think? you should totally try it on when we go." On the phone was a puffy gray princess cut dress. The bottom of it was made up with tulle fluffed up which came from waist height and fell to brush the floor lightly on the model in the pictures. It was a stunning dress truly, Jan stared at it and tried to imagine it on herself. It was one she never imagined to pick out a big prom dress like that. She was know to go for a more figure fitted piece but Nicky had great taste and knew she could trust her judgement. "It's gorgeous Nic but I'm not sure it will suit me. I'm really willing to try it" she hummed, "I think it would suit you and i found heels to match that you can wear. I will have you the prettiest girl there trust me."

They headed to their lockers to grab their stuff for the next classes as Gigi and Jan parted from the rest to go to their shared biology and chemistry classes. As the last class started Jan's concentration once again lasted for approximately 5 minutes before she went back to daydreaming about everything and anything else that wasn't what molecule or whatever reason they were talking about in class. All of her thoughts went back to Jackie giggling at her texts at lunch to their time spent at each other's houses.

"Jan you better start working!! You've been sat their for ages doing nothing and you've already missed a full board length of work on this topic. You did the same in bio. Quick he's disappeared out of the room now to grab something with another teacher. Here." Gigi spoke to the blonde sending her back to the real world as she flung her notebook at her to get her back up to speed, while their teacher has popped out of the room. Jan grabbed the book and scribbled down the information she missed handing the tall blonde her book back. "Thanks Gee, what would i do without you."

"Tell me truthfully, how much sleep did you get and why didn't you sleep?" The small girl wriggled to the piercing question. "2 hours nearly every night this week....maybe I don't know." "JAN!!!! no wonder you're exhausted!!!! What have you been doing... now don't give me the theatre Glinda shit, I can read through the lines." Gigi shuffled her chair closer, "I've noticed your increase in giggly texting, who's the guy or girl." Jan gave the girl a shocked expression before correcting her, "its.... its not like that Jackie and i are just chatting mostly about theatre stuff and our roles." This made Gigi smirk, "so I'm halfway right thenso you and Jackie, This makes so much sense she looked exhausted this morning. So you both have been up all night for this last while doing what... you better start spilling I'm intrigued."

Jan started to explain how incredible Jackie was and how beautiful her house and family was. How they hung out at hers and how she got on so well with her own family. How they both had Been talking hours on end to each other and she had never experienced someone as kind warming and intriguing as her... "it's...it's so strange. It's not been that long at all since we started to talk and I don't know..." the tiny blonde stopped speaking she looked at Gigi, before starting again. "Your gonna laugh.." Gigi grabbed her hands, "it's like you've known her forever right like she should be someone from your past but she's not and you can't understand how one girl has made you feel like this in such a short time of meeting." Gigi spoke slowly looking at the tinier one deep into her eyes.

Jan felt the reassurance from the other girl but sheer confusion hit. "Wait how?? That's exactly how I feel..." "This reminds me of a memory of my own. A certain memory involving a funny, incredible, wise, ginger headed girl who I can't imagine my life without." Jan's eyes widen to Gigi who's dreaming about Crystal the tinier one can only imagine. "Wait you and Crystal... oh no no no. It's not like that definitely not I mean she's totally not into me are you kidding we're friends... right.." Gigi giggled at the fluster that Jan was creating. "Emmm it certainly looks like it." Jan pushes Gigi lightly as a response to the comment. "Stop it's not that way at all... or at least i dont think it

"Let's see, have you ever just sat and watched Jackie especially in places full of people like she's the only person in the room because in your mind she literally is the only person." "Eh maybe I..." "Do you have really similar features or find things that she doesn't that you now instantly want to try just because she does them." Jan pauses to think about her recent intakein king princess, Clairo and other new queer femme artist that Jackie had newly introduced them to her. "I guess..""but you somehow convince yourself that something else is making you do it."

There's a audible gasp releases from Jan's mouth and before she can reply Gigi continues to list. "Do you nearly feel like exploding every time Jackie looks at you because her presence of being near you and you fumbling or saying something utterly stupid makes you nervous."

"I...I...I" "or on an open night full of no distractions have you see her posts on instagram and somehow accidentally ended up at the bottom of the instagram without realising... or anytime you brush by her is your arm tingling or if she grabs your hand or touches anything and it feels like your vision is drawn to that exact place and you then never want that feeling to disappear because her being anywhere near you makes you want to scream in a Goode way." Jan flushes a hot pink, everything Gigi has said has been completely true. "Or I know your thoughts are full of Jackie considering how much you've been daydreaming and you get endlessly distracted and then you end up messaging her... wait is that her messaging you too. How scandalous, the good Canadian texting you and shes in class too."Jan's eyes watch Gigi's eyes score down to her lit up phone as Jan looks don at the phone with the message hoping it's not Jackie or it makes everything Gigi said seem too real. But sure enough it was her.

> *Bored in history luckily its the last class of the day but thinking about you and what we are gonna watch together tonight made me a little bit happier *

"See I knew it! It was her wasn't it!" Gigi giggled. "It was but you are so far away from my phone you couldn't have seen my phone screen." Jan was getting a little stroppy with Gigi guessing it all as much as she appreciated her help she wasn't ready to hear all of this just yet. Sure she didn't even know what she was rather whether she was actually into Jackie or whether this was all a big misunderstanding. "It was a guess you're right but you confirmed it after you read it you were gleaming like you always do when you talk about Jackie."

"I DO NOT GLEAM WHEN I SPEAK ABOUT JACKIE!" Jan scoffed at Gigi who was now testing her patience. "Don't get all grumpy with me over the hard truth girl. I promise you, you are always gleaming from ear to ear."

Jan huffs knowing she can't really stay mad at her stating the truth. "Remember when you were talking about nailing the popular bedroom scene that day when Ms Monsoon called both you and Jackie out of class to go over it before practice, you wouldn't stop talking about how good Jackie was compared to the first time you did it. You said that you both practiced together, perfecting it and it was so perfect on the practice with ms monsoon and she was instantly proud of you both. You kept saying you thought Jackie's expressions were gonna take over your own. So then it became like a fun competition for you both to see who could outrun the other. Yeah bitch you talk about her non stop at first we alll thought it was just show excitement but it makes so much more sense now."

Jan was silent watching and anticipatingher friend's movements. "So I can see you really like her then." "Yes...no....I'm not sure Gee she's amazing but I'm scared." The taller one gave her a sympathetic glance. "What could you be possibilities scared of doll?" Before Jan could answer the bell went off as the teacher stumbled through the door apologising for his disappearance allowing everyone to leave.

"How are you scared Jan its obvious that you're very into Jackie what harm could asking try. Wait is she not..." "Oh no she is, that's not the issue." The small of the two looked about the corridors for other people before they decided to head down them towards to where they planned to meet the others as it was now the end of the day. "I just don't know if she's into me. We've got such a good thing right now and i would risk loosing her as a friend." The smaller one received a sympathetic look from the other, before exiting the building heading for crystal's car. "I'm being serious Gigi, I've never experienced someone as similar as me!!! For instance what if i confessed and she turned me down and said it was never like that and now it's awkward and she then says she never wanted to see me again."

"Ooh Chileeee this sound like Jan and Gigi now and I think we have we got drama. Alright let me buckle up what's happening Jan?" Jaida pops into sight, speaking over the top of the conversation, swinging her arm around Jan and Gigi as the girls walk towards Crystal's car. Jan hadn't noticed Jaida and Nicky waiting, chatting quietly to each other for them and Crystaloutside the car or else she would have stopped speaking well before.

Jan then took time to explain to the others about the situation talking about Jackie and the different things they had both done together around the same time, Crystal had too arrived and the girls had set off tohead home. Jan had gone into detail explaining almost everything she could think that they had done together. She nearly felt she was going too far into detail but the sense of release, being able to express how good of a time she had with Jackie felt so amazing and it meant for Jan, she wasn't suppressing what she got up to with Jackie so she didn't feel like she had to keep it a secret even if it wasn't a bad thing.

"Awww Jan this is so cute. I think you shouldn't be so scared. I mean she seems pretty into it all too from what you've said. Why don't you wait and see. I bet there will be a sign that will tell you once and for all truly if she is into you or whether she isn't. Then from then onwards you can pick and choose whether you want to ask her." The others nodded and answered in agreement with the ginger.

  
From then onwards Jan decided to build on her confidence to speak to Jackie more, to test out to see if she truly is into her in the way Jan was feeling. Also for Jan to see whether these were actual feeling or whether she just felt close to the girl because of their similarities.

The two girls worked well and all in the wicked musical performed an incredible set of nights. Jan and Jackie then the next night had created an after party for the cast to attend at Jan’s house. The whole night the girls promised Jan they would tell her what they thought of the situation. The party was a success and gave them mixed answers which for Jan wasn’t much help but she was happy her friends at least cared enough to try and help her.

As the weeks went on, Jan felt torn, after confessing to her friends, she continued to spend so much time with Jackie to the point were it was nearly inevitable and she soon realised the feeling she was feeling weeks before of an interest in Jackie became this desirable but scary need that she couldn’t control. 

She really truly liked Jackie but the nerves of now realising her truths scared Jan, enough to make her nervous to be near her and spill her feelings. She started to avoid spending one on one time with her on keeping their texting backwards and forwards and any interactions with other people the only times she’d talk to her. This unfortunately started a whole different issue.

“What do you mean Jackie’s been questioning and texting you.” Jan spoke weary to Jaida’s accidental confession while they were all hanging out the weekend before prom in Jaida’s room.

“She’s been worried about you. She thinks she’s said something wrong and has upset you.” Jaida spoke as she plopped herself into her desk chair across from the bed that Gigi and Jan were sat on. 

“What?” Jan watched the slender girl get comfortable in the chair she was sat in as she perked her body up with the questions Jaida was asking her. “Yeah she said she felt she had done something and that you went awfully quiet. you stopped spending time with her she’s confused.” The girl looked unbothered as the dread of Jackie feeling upset hit Jan hard she didn’t like that Jackie was worrying. “If you were trying to just disappear out of her life, I think you were too deep in whatever this is with Jackie. She’s noticed and from what I’m reading from her body language and when she was talking to me in literature class she seems distressed and a little saddened by you “ignoring her” I thought you liked her?” 

All eyes were on Jan once Jaida had stopped speaking. “I was trying to distance myself from her but I don’t think it’s worked I’ve hurt her and with that not spending time with her has hurt me in the process” Jan looked down to her lap sighing. “But I don’t know what to do it hurts to be there and not react the way I want to with my feelings.” 

There was an almighty silence before Nicky rested her hand on Jan’s which made the tiny blonde look up. “Jan I think you’ve found your answer.” 

The olive skinned blonde had a grin plastered on her face. Jan really took a spare moment looking past Nicky and the rest of the girls gleaming at her. Had she really found it? The answer to her almighty question...

She thought about how much pain pushing Jackie away made her feel. How yet she knew keeping the secret of maybe liking the girl away from her... was it really just ‘maybe liking the girl.’

Jan couldn’t kid herself any longer she knew that she liked Jackie and she was now starting to really see that Jackie might be feeling similar. Oh too similar!! Jan really started to connect all the pieces together all the secrets Jackie told her how her eyes looked as if they were twinkling when she looked at the tiny one. Now how she had discovered the girl had contacted Jaida knowing that she could have asked her personally.

“Okay I think I love her” the tiny girl blurted out to the quiet room as the other girls squeal. “I’m gonna do it I’m gonna ask her in prom but Before that I’m putting things semi back to normal between us.” 

...


	4. You can trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it the final piece to totally wicked 
> 
> I’m so excited for you all to read it 
> 
> Mwah 💋

*Prom day*

“Jan I swear you cry once more when I try to do your makeup. I’m gonna loose my mind. I know you’re nervous but come on she likes you we can guess that now. For god sake crystal’s our group crier not you.” 

Nicky blotted under the girls eye with a tissue that was lying on the dresser that Jan had used all morning. Nicky smiled down to the girl, “Just think you and Jackie can go on dates with Gee and Crys our resident group couple and Jaida and I the friendship couple. We are gonna have so much fun, best of it all Jaida and I will have another couple to torture with our single stuff!!” Nicky did a little celebration dance to accompany what she said. She bounced up and down excitedly her slippers making soft little excited thumps on Gigi’s bedroom floor.

Jan couldn’t do anything other than giggle at Nicky’s silly little dance, she had been pretty miserable all week with nerves. She had went around to Jackie’s to hang out mid week and was able to apologise to the girl for worrying her, lying about being busy and other things for her lack of contact. The brunette seemed to buy the story and was happy enough to have the blonde around to hang out like normal. All the while Jan was nervous she was going to spill and confess. 

Since then every day that past, her nerves sky-rocketed as prom approached. The rest of the girls noticed her abnormal behaviour and decided apon keeping Jan’s mind off her nerves by phoning and making sure she knew they were always there incase she needed them. This resulted in Jan getting overwhelmed to at least one of the girls each night. Jan was tired of being overwhelmed with emotion, her personality was the opposite of how she was reacting and quite frankly the young girl didn’t like being a hassle to her friends which she felt she was becoming. 

“Nic am I annoying... please answer me truthfully because I feel like such a nuisance crying and acting like this. I’m never like this I feel like such a bore.” Jan spoke softly towards Nicky, who had her blush brush in her hand ready to add a little colour to Jan. As the girl applied the pale pink to the tinier ones face gently as she spoke. “You certainly haven’t been yourself... but who can blame you! You’re about to do something you’ve been anticipating doing for a while and we can’t judge you for being a bit nervous.” Nicky stopped applying to give her a sympathetic look. 

Jan wanted to believe her that she wasn’t being annoying or bothering her friends but the paranoia of what she imagined, putting herself in their perspective was telling her a different story. She fake smiled at her and changed the subject to something else to make it look as if she had got a good enough answer but to be honest Jan was freaking out more now that she knew not only did she have nerves of what was gonna happen with Jackie, she too also felt she was being a bother to everyone else. The result that she brought to mind, she was just gonna stop bothering everyone it wasn’t fair on them she was gonna sort her own nerves herself .

The girls all eventually got ready, Nicky doing the majority of the makeup and Gigi the hair. All 5 of them look fabulous and were certain to “blow out the competition for prom queen” according to Gigi’s mom as they got ready to leave. Jan was appreciative to have friends like her 4 but as they got closer to the hall the more she was unsure if she could talk to Jackie. 

The prom committee had done a good job of the hall that they were in for prom. The theme was winter wonderland and they had actually done a tremendous job making the inside of the hall look like a giant snow globe to the best of their abilities with their already small budget. The girls were given a glittery package as they walked in through the door. Crystal already was opening this and was straight into the glittery confetti and white glittery highlighter body paint with no surprise , making sure to inform the rest of her discovery. Jan wasn’t really focused on anything other than looking to see where Jackie was. She couldn’t properly spot her due to the sheer amount of people already here. Her head twisted and turned...rised and fell as she looked around people for a glimpse of the girl. “She’s by the DJ booth by the way” Jaida whispered to her. 

Sure enough Jaida was right, the brunette was standing with Widow and Heidi chatting with two other guys and a mysterious girl she didn’t recognise. She could only see the side profile of Jackie’s head, as she was in the back of the group leaned against the wall. Jan returned her eyes to Jackie once the girls made there way in and over to the drinks table. She could now see her fully from the new angle and she was amazed by how good she looked. 

Jackie had shown her dress to Jan prior to prom, but even marvelling how gorgeous the dress was before she had saw it on the girl. Jan was completely jaw dropped by how Jackie topped the already high expectations of the look. The dress was a slick tight fitting sheer like, long black dress. Jackie had an incredible figure and this dress completely proved that.

Jan looked past Jackie finally to the rest of Jackie’s group. There was two guys and another girl within the group other than Widow and Heidi. Jan recognised one of the guys as Widow’s boyfriend from the texts and images that Jackie had shown her when with her on one of their hangouts. The other guy she didn’t fully recognise but assumed it was Heidi’s. She had never seen what he had looked like but had heard enough about how much of a painful excuse he was and considering he had no interest in anyone other than Widow’s boyfriend made complete sense to Jan.

Jan felt a wave of eagerness to figure out the other girl standing with Jackie’s group was. She was a gorgeous brunette girl. Jan could hear the laughter and happiness from the group mostly from this girl as she laughed. Jackie was smiling up at the girl in awe. This girl definitely had a vibrant personality and Jan could feel a peck of jealousy run in her body as Jackie looked at this girl sweetly.. a little too sweetly.

Jan planned to keep her eye on Jackie and this girl while she stood with her friends. “So are you going to go over to her or not you haven’t took your eyes off her since you came here. Are you planning to burn a hole in her?” Nicky nudged the tiny blonde as she spoke. Jan only hummed as a response, to which Nicky shook her head grabbed Jan’s empty hand and tugged her away from where she was stood.

“Let’s go dance, take your mind of her and just live in the fact that we are at prom bitch!!” Nicky sung grabbing the attention of the other 3 and signaling them to join her and Jan. Jan let go of Jackie’s glance and began to dance with the others. It released some tension until...

“Jan! Jan! Hi Omg you look stunning” Jackie swung her arm around the tiny one before Jan had even realised what had happened. “Jac..Ja.Jackie...omg hi thank you angel, you look so gorgeous too.” Jan could barely stutter out what she wanted to say as Jackie released the hug slowly “look I have to catch up on the rest of my group but please I want to talk properly with you tonight. I also want to spend some time with you and your friends ” Jan could barely nod before Jackie disappeared into the crowd waving. 

“I can’t wait to you both are together. She’s so gorgeous tonight, I’m jealous of you angel” Crystal said smiling directly at Jan. “hey your actual girlfriend is standing right here while you say that.” Gigi pouts at her girlfriend as Crystal takes the opportunity and kisses Gigi, “but I love you more and you know that Gee.” The blush rises on Gigi’s cheeks. Nobody needed an answer from her as everyone knew both of them were smitten by each other. Something that Jan could only dream about. She was secretly wishing that only positive things could come out of later on. 

She shook with the fear of it not going positively. The nerves crept back after disappearing in that short time not thinking of Jackie. She didn’t want to think of the possibility of being stood up. She didn’t dare imagine it. “Here sip up add some to your drink but don’t let anyone see. You look like you need a spot of courage.” Jaida shoved a flask into her hands. The blonde examined it. “It’s vodka for god sake take some, We all have, don’t worry it’s not the only one we have.” Jaida winked to her.

Jan wasn’t gonna turn down alcohol, she took a swing of the flask and then proceeded to pour some into her 3/4 full cup filling it to the top again. “Oh your.. really going for it.”The others giggled to Jan’s reaction as she handed Jaida her flask again. 

The alcohol started to settle well with Jan. It boosted her to mindfully forget about Jackie and being nervous as such. So after a while when they all went to go rest, Jan spotting Jackie and the rest of her group by the photobooth near the entrance gave her a little bit of a spook. It was as if she had forgot she was even there in the same room. Jan had planned to let Jackie live her night without potentially catching her watching so she distracted herself with the conversation going on in her own group. Unfortunately for Jan the curiosity got her as she returned her eyes to go watch the girl she didn’t recognise in Jackie’s group once more. 

The alcohol in Jan’s body was supposed to be helping Jan but in the moment it was hindering her more. The feeling of jealousy was spreading around her body like wildfire as she watched Jackie and the girl get on so well. They were both laughing as Jackie was holding her up. This was So much so that her courage within Jan she felt it rise within her body. 

“I’m gonna do it now this is my chance.” The tiny girl announced as She went to head off in the direction of Jackie when Gigi grabbed her hand “hold up, do you want one of us to come with you and stand back just so that you have one of us to “cheer you on” so your not doing this alone.” Jan smiled, “nope just watch over and that’s enough encouragement.” 

Jan released herself fromthe grip of the taller one and started to calmly walk towards Jackie. Prom dress started to play from the DJ booth, it felt like it was the right time. Mxmtoon, the one thing that Jan and Jackie shared a common interest on at the start when they both started to hang out. It was a sign definitely from something good, Jan had to think that way or she was gonna chicken out.

She kept watching the mysterious girl with Jackie she was twirling her and giggling with her. Jan had nearly approached and was about to speak when the mysterious girl who was holding Jackie’s handfrom previously dancing and twirling the brunette whispered something in her ear and kissed her on the cheek. Jan froze her face crumbling as Jackie spotted her coming closer pushing the girl lightly away from her with a horrified look on her face. 

A tear flows down the blonde’s cheek as her heart shatters. She quickly races towards the doors.“JAN!!” “WAIT!!” “hold up please don’t run!” Jan can hear her shouts become fainter as she runs further from the hall towards the darken hallway...

𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎

She can still hear the shouts as she stops thinking about what happened with her eyes still firmly closed. The tears are still running down her face, prom queen was still playing in the far off distance but the shouts of her name was getting louder as it appeared to be getting closer....

“Jan”

“Jan”

“Jan where are you?”

“Jan”

“You’ve gotta be somewhere around here.” 

It went silent. Jan felt like she was being watched. “Jan? Is that you?” It was her. “No” the girl sobbed back. She could hear Jackie shuffle closer to her as the voice appeared almost beside her. “Oh Jan, why did you run from me when I called.” “I saw her kiss you, she’s with you and that’s totally okay but I can’t be in that room with you both. I don’t want to look at that. I can’t.” 

There was a pause. “I promise it was not what you think, let me explain, look open your eyesit’s just me and you. You can trust me.” “How?” The blonde muffled with her hands over her face still refusing to open her eyes. 

“Trust me first open your eyes.” Jan opened one eye to look at the girl and saw the tears rolling down her face. She was crying, Jan opened both of them to look at her properly as Jackie sat opposite her. She put her hands out towards Jan and almost instantly Jan grabbed them without thinking. she hated that she had done that but watching Jackie cry herself broke her heart more than what it had already. 

“Your friends are incredible, let me first add. They really would stick up for you no matter what. They’ve told me a lot, But most importantly let me tell you I only love you I can only promise you that with all my heart and what your friends told me and watching you react to that completely getting the wrong idea broke my heart.”

Jackie released one of her hands from Jan’s grasp to wipe the tear running down the girls face. Having the brunette touch her face, Jan felt the tiny sparks of excitement she always felt when Jackie was near. It was like normal except Jan still couldn’t trust the situation.

“Do you know what I wanted to talk about later on... I wanted to ask you out on a date later this week..” She paused. “like a proper one because I really like you Jan and I know we know each other but I wanted to make it proper see the other side other than friendship. I’ve always felt a spark between us but I wasn’t sure what way your head was at. From what your friends have told me or shouted at me at the start and then when I told them. Everything calmed down we realised the feeling was somewhat the same between us both and then most important thing was finding and comforting you and telling you. 

Jan stared at the girl. Did she dream that, was she imagining every word that Jackie just spoke.... “Who was that other girl that kissed you you both seemed close.”Jackie sighed as she started to speak again.

“That girl is widow’s friend from her hometown, Monique. Her boyfriend and widow’s are brother’s. He goes to this school that’s the other guy that was in the group. She’s drunk, that kiss on the cheek was because she was apologising to me for pouring her drink on my jacket when she tripped. I told her not to worry and she kissed my cheek as an apology, she’s like that apparently when she’s drunk. She’s great fun but a little bit full on when drunk. I promise there’s no funny business, you will see that and she’s very much straight. I promise.”

“So no funny business. You like me and want to take me on a date.” Jackie nodded to the comment. “I know you like me, your friends made that one very clear... a little too clear. Nicky, can be quite firm when she wants to be .” Jan gasped, “oh shit did they shout at you. I’m gonna loose my mind with them.” Jan went to get up furious at them causing a scene. “No Jan, in the moment it was deserved. They understand now and they’ve apologised including Nicky who I think felt awful, as she confessed she nearly went to punch me.” 

Jan put her hands on her face, “don’t feel bad baby they are incredible. I could only hope my 2 would be as defensive as your lot. Come on let’s spend the rest of the night together all of us in one big group.” Jan nodded as they went to leave the cloakroom. “Jackie” the tiny one spoke softly. “Yeah baby” the brunette stopped to look at the blonde as the blonde leaned in for a kiss. Jackie reciprocated and joined in with her, kissing back. As they both released, Jan spoke softly,“I had to lead one of our firsts, I was gonna be the first to confess but you got there before me so that will have to do.” Jackie smiled down to the girl. “You know what you are Jan not to make the theatre pun... you are totally wicked and I can’t believe a girl as beautiful as you would like someone like me.” 

Jan gasped but the feeling that was pumping through her body couldn’t be more mutual with Jackie if she tried......


End file.
